I am sure that Santa Claus (Saint Nick, Santa, Father Christmas, or whatever you call him) has had more than his share of practical jokes in the past hundreds of years. It never occurred to me, though, that he would come out as muscular and naked! Apparently, I do not have as much imagination in me as Barry McBee of Big Spring, Texas.

McBee, who loves to make people laugh, decided to put up a replica of Michelangelo’s David (yeah, that ultra-muscular guy with no clothes on) on his front lawn. Following the spirit of Christmas, he decided to add a white beard and a pointy red hat (Santa’s garb, in case you didn’t get it). All the guy wanted to do was elicit a chuckle here and there, but he got more than he bargained for.

According to city officials, they received complaints from parents whose children were inquiring as to why Santa was naked. Seriously, if I were a kid, I probably would have first asked how he lost all that flab! Anyway, city officials didn’t find McBee of violating any city ordinances. However, in the interest of keeping peace in the community, they asked McBee to “put more clothes” on Santa David.

It seems that McBee is an easy going guy – he gave in easily and dressed his statue with black and white shorts. After all, we cannot have Santa suffering from frostbite, can we? Oh, and just for the record: I think he should have gotten red and white shorts to match the hat!

Photo courtesy of Yahoo News

I want in! And so does the rest of the gazillions of people inhabiting this tiny planet of ours. Last week, an ad was placed online, encouraging people to apply for what is touted as the best job in the world. The job description?

Whoever “wins” the post gets to be the caretaker of a little island paradise in Australia. This is what is written in the job description as published in the official web site:

The role of Island Caretaker is a six-month contract, based on luxurious Hamilton Island in the Great Barrier Reef. It’s a live-in position with flexible working hours and key responsibilities include exploring the islands of the Great Barrier Reef to discover what the area has to offer.

You’ll be required to report back on your adventures to Tourism Queensland headquarters in Brisbane (and the rest of the world) via weekly blogs, photo diary, video updates and ongoing media interviews.

But that is not all! There are other tasks which the caretaker might be asked to do, including (but not limited to) the following:

Feed the fish - There are over 1,500 species of fish living in the Great Barrier Reef. Don’t worry – you won’t need to feed them all.

Clean the pool – The pool has an automatic filter, but if you happen to see a stray leaf floating on the surface it’s a great excuse to dive in and enjoy a few laps.

Collect the mail – During your explorations, why not join the aerial postal service for a day? It’s a great opportunity to get a bird’s eye view of the reef and islands.

Now tell me if anyone can ever resist that job? Apparently, everyone and his mom visited the site after hearing about the job opportunity, making the web site crash.

How many times have you wondered whether Santa’s reindeers are male or female? I am sure that if you have not thought about it lately, you wondered about it at least once when you were a child. We may never know the answer for sure but scientists over at Texas A&M University are trying their best to figure out the gender of the reindeer.

The Associated Press ran a story yesterday:

“Santa’s reindeers were really females, most likely,” said Alice Blue-McLendon, a veterinary medicine professor specializing in deer who cites the depictions of Santa’s helpers with antlers as the primary evidence. It turns out reindeer grow antlers regardless of gender, and most bulls typically shed their fuzzy protrusions before Christmas.

But Santa’s sleigh helpers might also be castrated males, known as steers, said Greg Finstad, who manages the Reindeer Research Program at the University of Alaska Fairbanks.

Young steers finish shedding their antlers in February and March, just as non-expecting females do. Bulls generally lose theirs before Christmas, while expectant mothers retain their antlers until calves are birthed in the spring. This allows them to protect food resources through harsh weather and to have enough for developing fetuses, he said.

Sledders most often use steers because they maintain their body condition throughout the winter, he said. Bulls are tuckered out from rutting season when they mate with as many as a dozen females in the months leading up to December. That leaves them depleted and too lean to pull a sleigh or sled through heavy snows, Finstad said.

Alright, but I really cannot see anyone naming their daughter Rudolph.

In a way you could call it eco-friendly as what this artist uses as his canvas, is something people literally spit out and throw away, right on the street – chewing gum!

Artist Ben Wilson is the creator of these clever works of art on the street, transforming what was once unsightly blobs, into whimsical, funny and interesting miniature paintings on a unique canvas. A native of London’s Muswell Hill, Wilson’s work has been featured repeatedly by the British press and two short films have been made.

Ben Wilson at work

Ben was actually a pavement artist (something I’ve always enjoyed looking at ever since I saw that scene in Mary Poppins age 6), and when he realised it was illegal to paint on the pavement, he resourcefully thought to paint directly on the gum, which is obviously ok. He’s caught a lot of attention doing it, and now Ben is a known as a local hero in his suburban neighborhood. How I wish he’s do that to all the gum around!

Ok, so this isn’t exactly what you’d call news, but I just had to share this amusing article written in 1961.

Some things slightly ring true, the bit where kids learn from TV (not entirely, but which parent hasn’t bought and educational DVD, CD rom or system like Leapfrog?), indoor swimming pools and tv telephones, juice powders (Tang), tablets for energy and overall healthier people (the eco-friendly organic craze worldwide).

But largely, the article proves to me that scientists really can’t predict the future after all, or we would have floating roofs on our houses by now!

The article was the the July 22 issue of Weekend Magazine (printed where? I have no idea, I doubt it still exists) found on the web in the Pixelmatic website.

Will Life Be Worth Living in 2000 AD?

What sort of life will you be living 39 years from now? Scientists have looked into the future and they can tell you.

It looks as if everything will be so easy that people will probably die from sheer boredom.

You will be whisked around in monorail vehicles at 200 miles an hour and you will think nothing of taking a fortnight’s holiday in outer space.

Your house will probably have air walls, and a floating roof, adjustable to the angle of the sun.

Doors will open automatically, and clothing will be put away by remote control. The heating and cooling systems will be built into the furniture and rugs.

You’ll have a home control room – an electronics centre, where messages will be recorded when you’re away from home. This will play back when you return, and also give you up-to-the minute world news, and transcribe your latest mail.

You’ll have wall-to-wall global TV, an indoor swimming pool, TV-telephones and room-to-room TV. Press a button and you can change the décor of a room.

The status symbol of the year 2000 will be the home computer help, which will help mother tend the children, cook the meals and issue reminders of appointments.

Cooking will be in solar ovens with microwave controls. Garbage will be refrigerated, and pressed into fertiliser pellets.

Food won’t be very different from 1961, but there will be a few new dishes – instant bread, sugar made from sawdust, foodless foods (minus nutritional properties), juice powders and synthetic tea and cocoa. Energy will come in tablet form.

At work, Dad will operate on a 24 hour week. The office will be air-conditioned with stimulating scents and extra oxygen – to give a physical and psychological lift.

Mail and newspapers will be reproduced instantly anywhere in the world by facsimile.

There will be machines doing the work of clerks, shorthand writers and translators. Machines will “talk” to each other.

It will be the age of press-button transportation. Rocket belts will increase a man’s stride to 30 feet, and bus-type helicopters will travel along crowded air skyways. There will be moving plastic-covered pavements, individual hoppicopters, and 200 m.p.h. monorail trains operating in all large cities.

The family car will be soundless, vibrationless and self-propelled thermostatically. The engine will be smaller than a typewriter. Cars will travel overland on an 18 inch air cushion.

Railways will have one central dispatcher, who will control a whole nation’s traffic. Jet trains will be guided by electronic brains.

In commercial transportation, there will be travel at 1000 m.p.h. at a penny a mile. Hypersonic passenger planes, using solid fuels, will reach any part of the world in an hour.

By the year 2020, five per cent of the world’s population will have emigrated into space. Many will have visited the moon and beyond.

Our children will learn from TV, recorders and teaching machines. They will get pills to make them learn faster. We shall be healthier, too. There will be no common colds, cancer, tooth decay or mental illness.

Medically induced growth of amputated limbs will be possible. Rejuvenation will be in the middle stages of research, and people will live, healthily, to 85 or 100.

There’s a lot more besides to make H.G. Wells and George Orwell sound like they’re getting left behind.

And this isn’t science fiction. It’s science fact – futuristic ideas, conceived by imaginative young men, whose crazy-sounding schemes have got the nod from the scientists.

It’s the way they think the world will live in the next century – if there’s any world left!

According to a recent survey, these seven jobs are the United Kingdom’s WORST jobs ever. Not only do do the people who have these jobs sound utterly miserable with their daily tasks, but they are also paid a pittance for it.

I wonder though, if some of these jobs could actually be more interesting than say, sitting in front of a computer all day in a tiny cubicle where you rarely get to see any real daylight or form of nature. In that case, I’d rather have the Zoo Keeper’s job – but no thanks to the hospital laundry, a cubicle sounds just fine to me.

1. ZOO KEEPER

IT sounds like a great job, but London Zoo keeper Sebastian Grant reckons life on the other side of the animal enclosure is anything but rosy.

?The thing about looking after animals is there is a lot of mess,? he explains. ??What comes out of the end of an animal needs cleaning up. Animals are also potentially dangerous. Even an anteater can tear a hole in a man.
?As well as being dirty and dangerous, this job has long hours. We start every day at 8am ? even on Christmas Day. And you don?t go home until the work is done, so the hours can be very long.

?I?m not saying driving a cab is easy, but it?s certainly not a harder job than mine.?

2. FRUIT MACHINE ENGINEER

ROGER EASTAFF reveals he would drive round pubs in Coventry fixing fruit machines, payphones and pool tables.

He says: ?An average day was spent in horrible urine-scented dive pubs. Aside from finding used condoms and syringes in pool tables and cleaning vomit off payphones, there was the constant threat of having a pool cue wrapped round your head for the sake of a handful of change.?

3. HOSPITAL PORTER

WHILE working as a porter, Frazer Payne?s daily duties involved wheeling the dead to the morgue.

He says: ?On one occasion as I tried to move the body, the trolley scooted away from me and I stumbled after it with the corpse in my arms. This set off a whirlwind of panic as the other patients began screaming and fainting. When I finally got the body to the morgue, rigor mortis had begun to set in and the body started to sit up.

?In order to slide the bench into the freezer I had to put my knee on the legs and lie across the body to push the upper torso down. I was never so glad to be sacked.?

4. JIGSAW MAKER

WORKING 11-hour shifts in a cramped factory with two 15-minute breaks for ?3 an hour was normal for James Prendegast.

He recalls: ?My job was to lean on and deflate the plastic-wrapped boxes of jigsaws as they rolled out of a plastic wrapping machine.

?Every week this machine would seize up and when they opened it, thousands of jigsaw pieces would fall out. Virtually every jigsaw was missing at least one piece.?
5. BOX FACTORY WORKER

SAM JORDISON worked in a warehouse for a week where they flattened old cardboard boxes and sent them to wholesalers.

He says: ?It was physical agony but it was the mental pain that weighed heaviest. I was working with a guy who?d been there for 20 years. He told me he dreamed about boxes, saw boxes when he closed his eyes and could taste boxes when he ate. And every 20 minutes or so he would shout ?BOXES? at the top of his voice.?

6. LAUNDRY WORKER

HOSPITAL laundry worker Ralph El Turk was paid 18 pence an hour extra to work with dirty bedding.

?It just wasn?t worth it,? he says. ?Masses of dirty laundry would come down these big shoots.

?They would be covered in human waste, blood, and once, with what looked like someone?s kidneys. You spent most of the day with your face in, or near, urine.?

7. WEEDKILLER SPRAYER

AFTER dropping out of university, Dan Kieran took a job spraying weedkiller along roadsides.

He says: ?Every day I had to wear a green boiler suit and carry a 35-litre tank of toxic weedkiller on my back. My 12-hour shift consisted of scaling the banks that run alongside motorways.

?When three months of this hell had ended I went on to spray the streets of Slough, which was worse.

?Kids would run up shouting, ?Ghostbuster!? and laugh in my face. One day an incontinent lady tramp came up, patted me on the arm and said, in a soothing voice, ?I bet your parents are proud.? ?

Survivor, Amazing Race and other reality TV shows have obviously become the new resort for most networks to be able to jack up their ratings today. No longer is it a world where the usual TV sitcoms and movie re-runs would be what viewers would look forward to. It has all boiled down to finding something more interesting and catchy for people to be able to enjoy home entertainment without having to know what the actual plot and twist would be.

The twists are different. Having their own way of making the storylines to be indifferent from the usual expected output of these reality shows has really been something that has made TV network ratings skyrocket above the charts. With this new trend, all producers and network bigwigs have tried to make do and create a new concept to help bring their ratings above their competing networks. Just like in business, the key is to be able to find new innovative strategies to make it to the top. Most TV networks have obviously been resorting to it today.

Around christmas time everyone seems to transform into the kids they are at heart. Suddenly no hiding place is safe since they have all become expert detectives. They always seem to find where you hid the presents.

If you are looking for a way to help keep things a surprise, try what Nashville is doing. They have Santa Closets.

No, the closets do not contain the big guy in the red suit. A Santa Closet is the term used for the self storage units that have become a favorite hiding place for many adults. Some people rent Santa Closets to store items like a new TV, iPod, recliner or boat that you hope they won’t see til Christmas day. The gifts can be any size. The important thing is that they are away from the curious fingers of the christmas detective squad.

With Santa Closets, the stash will be safe ’til you decide to put them under the tree. Just make sure to keep its location secret.

Ever noticed that if you see someone laughing, even if you can’t hear what they are saying, you will often find yourself smiling, in some cases laughing as well. If you’ve been wondering if it was just you, relax. It is something that affects everybody. Besides laughter is the best medicine – as the saying goes.

The Journal of Neuroscience published the study last December 12. Among the findings is that people respond more quickly to positive sounds than negative ones. Scientists have discovered that a portion of our brain called the premotor corticol region, which controls the facial muscles, responds to sounds.

We have always known that we tend to automatically mimic the facial expressions of people we talk with. Apparently our brain does the same with laughter. The result: “laugh and the whole world laughs with you” exactly as another old saying goes.

If you are like most people, you probably have a wardrobe full of the little black dress. It’s perfect for all occasions; except this one. Get ready to kick your heels up and add some color to your closet. It is Christmas time after all.

Take a page from the December issue of O Magazine and brighten up your days. You’ll feel the immediate lighteinging of your spirit as you go about in your vibrantly coloured frocks. No crows hanging around this holiday season.

Instead of going for your usual somber shades, go for some reds, yellows, blues and greens. Choosing a material like satin brings an added texture. Think of it as your gift wrapping. You take the time to wrap your presents in beautiful gilt paper. Your colorful dresses go around your best gift – yourself. Isn’t that a great reason to leave the little black dress in the closet this month?